Part of being a coward has to do with not facing up to our fears, or, projections of fear that our society can heap upon us.
SOme think of heroism as the guy who infIltrates an FBI hootenanny, and then, finds himself/herself/itself, all alone in the bathroom, with an “All American Hero’s” magazine in their hands, puttering furtively away at their nether regions.
And, some remember the lies we were told about real hero’s, even if the average citizen never even heard about such heroes.
Still others think of people like Matt Dillon’s character in “Crash.” The hero–a racist L.A. cop who struggles with the contradictions of his racism, and his biases against certain “types of people,” and who struggles to get healthcare for his father (like Kelly Thomas, Dillon’s character is the son of a law enforcement agent).
That last one is close to my own heart for many personal reasons which I will not discuss here, but no matter how you slice it, we all have a scale on which we compare our ‘deeds’ to the deeds of others; and we all–the good ones of us anyways–do good deeds selflessly.
I personally have jumped on hand grenades–none of which the average person would call hand grenades–and in those days, I wore a Davy Crocket cap which made me invincible; I have stormed the parapets of secret societies and malfeasant government agencies with nefarious paractices–and found the walls to be merely bits and bytes that lead to more bits and bytes!
I once laid an 18 inch long turd, unbroken!
And tonight, I rose above that even.
As I have written about for awhile, I set traps–I learned the art of trapping very young, but also, I am still learning how to trap things–because thank the lord Jeesus that I have such good teachers! The flies in the wine, tell me all I need to know, thank you Jeeesus!
Well–the heroics–tonight, I noticed that my fruit fly traps were unattended/unloved, and relatively unvisited by the flies! I wondered: hmm, why don’t the fruit flies come to my delicious fruit fly traps tonight?
AND THEN! I discovered my bottle of sour wine! Hidden, at the foot of my throne!(couch) and full of fruit flies!
So–I was faced with a dilemma–a hero’s question formed in my mind: 1) should I throw away the wine? 2) should I filter the fly’s out of the wine, so that I don’t waste, like, 7 dollars worth of otherwise good wine–(Jesus, as we know, drank wine, and also drank wine from old wineskins, if nothing else was available, because, well, Jeesus was cool like that, a real socialist and community organizer who had this thing in his upbringing about Phillistine foreskins–but that’s another story!…) 3) should I just throw away the wine, as I pondered at point number 3.
This, is the hero’s dilemma. Even though none of the characters in a Louis L’Amour novel ever grappled with this deep, heroic question, I can tell you with certainty that any one of his hero’s would have eaten their own turds to stay alive; or drunk their own pee in a desert. So why not wine, WITH FLIES?!
So: what would YOU do? Well, for me, being a hero is not easy–but after awhile, I just do heroic things, and can’t help myself–because I know that EVERYTHING I DO is heroic: I am a ‘good guy,’ and I do ‘ good things,’ for the sake of everybody!!!!!
Being a hero is just something I was born to be, with the help of converted Phillistines, wine, and lots of oversight by federal and state agencies that watch me go poopoo, and who folow me around like angels, just to make sure I am on the right path at all times.
So, yes–I drank the wine, and picked the flies out. But later, I might just drink the wine, AND the flies!
Thank you Jeeesus! And oh, then, the next day-I will take a really wet shit, and think about how angels have helped me see the light of the righteous, heroic path.
UPDATE: actually, it was three streaming shits today, after I drank the kool-aid.