Sometimes I am so alone in my stories–so isolated and unheard-because my life is not ‘ordinary,’ nor am I.
And it’s hard to tell my stories with a straight face most of the time.
Sure–when I am testilying, no problem–I can, and do, and will say anything that helps me make my case.That’s what I do–I am a law enfarcer–and I am chosen to be so because of a special skillset that I possess, and YOU don’t: the ability to wade through the truth, BEFORE citizens can make up their own minds-I am a chosen one, becasue I can ‘make truth happen.”
It doesn’t mater how I do it-what matters is thsat you, and others believe me, because I wear a shiny, sparkly badge.
I like to think that my sparkly badge is like sunglasses–it lets me see things without being bothered by real sunlight, or by actual truth, and so, I will say just about anything that comes to my head when it involves perps, and no defense lawyer can shoot me down–because I have the respect of the citizens; and I wear a badge. No matter what I say, the people believe it, because they know the truth–and the truth is, if they don’t agree with me? They are in my sights.;p[;’ for every day after.
The twinkly, sparkly glints of light that reflect off of that badge are generally enough to awe most ordinary citizens. Sometimes, I get caught up in the sparkles myself. Sparkly things make me feel better, and safer in the world.
I feel so safe,that when I break the law, I can make it obvious to anyone looking in that I broke the law for some good reason–like catching PERPS!
Yeah–my sparkiness–Probably, it’s because my aunties used to bend over, and smash my face into their breasts-s-s, and I always noticed the sparkly shiny jewelry they wore, and the nice smell of their skins. My aunties and their pleasant smelling skins were not at all like my dad, or my uncles (except uncle Ray, who had the freshest smelling clothes I ever smelled). NO, my aunties were sparkly, and I always felt so safe and wonderful around them.
When I got my first job–as a security officer at my two year college-I was introduced to my first badge–a large, shield, with ‘safe’ words printed on it, in Latin. I don’t speak Latin (or should I say “I-ay on’t-ay peak-say atin-Lay? hehehehe. I used to speak Latin but I forgot most of it).
Well anyays, I don’t have a lot of time roght now, because I have to go down to the care center and give a talk to al of the fat ladies in wheelchairs about why their neighborhoods are safer with me around, and how they should vote for my party, the Mamasota Law Enfarcement union .
Well, actually that’s a joke–it really isn’t my political party! JK, hehehe.
I just want crucial voting blocks to see me in my badge and realize that THAT, ALONE makes me good, and, if they listen to me, they are good by default–I really don’t care who they are, as long as they don’t mess with my pension, or instigate civilian review boards, becaues the truth is, my political party is whoever puts butter on my bread. Hehehehe. I don’t care at all– at the base of my social connection is the question: “Who feeds me?”
And I don’t CARE who that is, as long as I get fat, too, like the SA sucking cripples of my state.
But before I scoot over there to those social rejects- and do my civic duty (hehee-scoot over there is a handicapped peoples expression–a joke about their motorized, state subsidized scooters.)
I picked that expression up the last time I was at the cripple and mentally ill peoples center, where I was giving a talk about community involvement and warning the fat ladies that hackers might get into their internets, so they need to change their passwords regularly. And secretly? I was grossed out at what I saw them looking at on the net, based on my experience at the Fusion center, where we target, and watch cripples and their social connections.
I mean-these fat, taxpayer dollar draining cripples are always looking ay irreligious, self-sorry topics llike ” how to gain access to legal suicide in Switzerland,” and ” paramour seeking muse’ type websites.
No wonder they are fat-looking at sites like these makes them think outside the box!
And, if I have to live in a box, I willl be damned if I will pity fat people in their wheelchairs!!
And–if only they would WASH regularly-have you ever had to sit in a room full of overweight, handicapped or mentally ill people without gagging? They barely bathe. I know they barely bathe, because I also volunteer to monitor their security systems, whenI am not at the fusion center.), let me tell you about a jam that Iam in–maybe you can help with some political activism or something.
But I don’t often do this, because I rely on my butties to cover my ass, but see, this jamb I am in looks like this (DON’T LAUGH!!! Or I will punch you in your face! I am not afraid to punch mockers IN THE FACE!) And you beter not TELL anyone that I asked for your help, or I will punch you in the face a whole bunch of times!
BUt see,I was doing undercover work, and this big queer–a couple big queers actually–tried to assault me.
Now understand-I was out there at 5 in the morning–5 A.M., when you were probably getting your morning pee boner rocked by your little wifey, or your sweet li’ hubby was out gathering flowers for you just before he gives you a foot rub, and (with Yanni playing in the background) serves you breakfast in bed, or whatever-maybe your ‘hubby’ was just ditching ‘his’ strap-on, and spooning you back to sleep–whatever!)–I was out there doing heroism-and these big huge queers tried to run me over, and a bunch of other stuff to ruin my reputation, or just kill me.
I mean, I do what I do for the children-what if your daughter was sex traffic? What if your daughter was a stop or go sign, with the yellow light disabled??? I mean-I am ot there every day protecting your families from big queers, and saving children that haven’t even been bred yet!
well anyways–I got myself into a jam–seems that not EVERYBODY buys into the heroism script, and sometimes, anti-American, Anti-children, Anti-safety terrorists catch me with MY pants down–but fail to understand that what I do is for my job! And that my job is for the people! And that the people are for more safety!
Well anyways–I got caught with some queers the other night (while I was working for the sex crimes unit, which is one of the nmost importsant, most relevant special forces all over the net, and, based on t.v., has a shortage of heros working in it, who are willing to take bullets for the right of law enfarcers and law a-bidding members of society to peek in Windows, sleep with queers, seduce your daughers, and select hookers who fit the profile of ‘street informant,’ and so forth).
Well, here, just read it yourself–I just got a call from the fat ladies over at the care facility where I volunteer to inform them of the dangers of non-cops, and others who are bad people.
And, never mind the fact that I was hammered when this event hapened–what the public doesn’t understand is that as law enfarcers, we have to be armed with the same assets as criminals–we HAVE to use drugs; we HAVE to get stone drunk to do our jobs–and we have sleep with big transvestites, and child prostitutes to make our cases!)
COP Busted Doing It’s Job–pursuing Big Queers.(if I could write the news, this would be my headline, but the queer mafia really messed me up here, which is why I am seking YOUR help. The real headline is below. ANd notice how they try to make me look like a big, drunk Queer chaser! I was DOIN’MAH JOB!!!!WTF!!??!!)
Fight with Transgender Prostitute leaves D.C. Cop Facing Criminal Charges
An off-duty police officer has been indicted on a slew of Washington D.C. assault and weapons charges, following an altercation during the officer’s alleged attempt to hire transgender prostitutes. He is also facing two counts of solicitation of prostitution.
As our Washington D.C. criminal defense attorney understands it, the officer is being made to answer to nine charges in all, which could amount to more than 30 years behind bars if he’s convicted.
The details, according to the Washington Post, are somewhat sketch, but here’s what we know so far:
The 48-year-old Washington D.C. Metropolitan police officer was reportedly outside a local drug store on First Street around 5:30 a.m. There, he was allegedly attempting to hire two transgendered prostitutes by the name of “Kayla” and “Chloe.” While talking with one of the individuals, another person approached and began arguing with him.
That’s when a security guard working at the drug store asked all of them to leave. The officer then reached for his handgun, which was in the glove box of his Cadillac. He brandished it to the individuals standing there before getting in his vehicle and driving away.
The two prostitutes then met up with other individuals and left the store in another car. Then in an odd development, the car driven by the officer collided with the car containing the prostitutes.
That’s when investigators said the officer dove on top of the hood of the other car and began firing his gun into the windshield. Bullets were said to have struck one of the passengers in the arm and hand. At the time, witnesses said the officer was shouting that he would kill all of them.
He was later arrested on the scene.
This all may seem somewhat straightforward, given the fact that several witnesses are attesting to the facts in the case. However, there is some additional background information that could play in the defense’s favor.
First, any potential jury is going to have to weigh the credibility of a veteran officer against statements made by known prostitutes.
Secondly, the officer’s attorney has been quoted by media as saying the officer was defending himself. He hasn’t expounded on that, but it will be interesting to see what approach is taken.
And finally, the officer had been on sick leave at the time of the incident. His defense attorney may need to parse out more details about the nature of that illness and whether it may have played a role in the events as they unfolded.
Prosecutors say the officer had a pattern of reckless behavior, and had been fired from the force 8 years ago for drunk driving. But that decision was later reversed and the officer was allowed to attend a diversion program before returning to work.
At the time of this most recent incident, the officer was said to have been intoxicated.